gut pageant 2000 by michele buono remember when you were little and santa clause was the coolest guy around? remember when you found out he wasn't real? nothing was the same after that. finding out that throwing muses were being disbanded was the same kind of experience. it was like getting the wind knocked out of you. probably should've seen it coming, but when you don't want to believe something, it catches you off guard. i was stunned...like, "yer kidding, right?". throwing muses have never enjoyed a massive amount of popularity. they have never been given a great deal of radio airplay, and magazine articles and covers were similarly scarce. but no one in the muses' inner circle has ever publicly complained about lack of media support. they simply don't care. they just go about their business of making their music, and whatever happens, happens. despite being largely ignored by the media, they were and are a band with a huge cult-like following. often referred to as "muse-heads", we will do anything to support throwing music. throwing music is the label that was formed in 1996 to release throwing muses and kristin hersh's solo recordings. the relationship between throwing music and the fans is one of give and take. most of us will do just about anything to get our hands and ears on the music, including traveling great distances for shows. but somehow, it's not just about that. as fans, we feel a sense of obligation to support the music in any way we can. this desire and need to help was intensified after it was announced that throwing muses were breaking up because they could no longer make a living by making records and touring. how completely sad, that a band that has influenced so many people, including numerous musicians, that was led by not one but two phenomenal female singer-songwriter-guitar players (long before the chick thing was a cool marketing tool) had to call it quits because they could no longer make enough money to put food on the table and feed its members and their families. "a hole in the box they carry, pours sugar in the road" billy o'connell is the manager of throwing muses and kristin hersh, and he also happens to be married to kristin hersh. he frequents the message board on the throwingmusic.com web site. and he doesn't just pop in from time to time. he puts himself out there on a regular basis answering questions, soliciting feedback, and asking for suggestions. one of those suggestions offered a while back was to have a gathering where everyone from the web site could get together and meet face to face. "billyo" took that suggestion and ran with it, taking it one step further and promising a muses reunion show...as long as we were there! on may 6th the suggestion that became an idea became reality. gut pageant 2000 (named after one of kristin's songs) was held at the middle east club in cambridge, ma. - a stone's throw from the providence-based muses second home, boston. this event was special in so many ways. it wasn't just a concert. it was a chance to congregate in one room with a bunch of other "muse-heads" for a day. i had the chance to meet a few people that i had chatted with on-line before, including a couple from california that i've been in contact with for over 5 years. that alone was an experience that i will never forget. but it also marked the first time that throwing muses would play together in over three years. even gaining access to the event was special because it launched a brand new ticketing venture developed by those at throwing music. by providing paperless tickets via the internet, virtuous.com hopes to reduce the risk of scalping and counterfeiting while supporting social services in the communities that they serve. for the gut pageant, the virtuous charity was the parent's and children's services of boston, an area agency committed to the well-being of children, families, and communities. "hanging around, wired for sound" the day began with a meet-and-greet, complete with a luncheon buffet. after saying hello to a crowd of anxious fans and signing autographs, kristin took the stage with david narcizo (drums), bernard georges (bass), and robert rust (keyboard) for a very public sound check. ahh, together again! kristin apologized for "making" us sit through this, but she had to have known that that alone was worth the price of admission. the camera flashes were everywhere, because something like this had to be captured in more than just your memory. evidence was needed. this kind of thing just doesn't happen in the music business. but then again, calling it a business is the first mistake. kristin and company have never thought of their music as a product. before the sound check was over, with billyo at the side of the stage, the eager crowd turned it into a q & a session, discussing the origin of the obscure b-side "hillbilly" and debating the napster issue, among other things. this was a rare spectacle: a band's members and manager enthusiastically engaging in a discussion over industry issues. but then again, gut pageant was not about timelines, and merchandise turnover, and profits. it was more about showing gratitude and offering pay back for what had been given over the years. it was about mutual gratitude and respect. this event was more like a company picnic, or a family reunion with relatives you've never met before. hey, it happens! when the sound check was finished, we were treated to a solo acoustic set from kristin. caught off guard, kristin admitted that she completely forgot that the set was on the agenda, but you'd never have guessed it. seeing kristin stripped down to just her voice and acoustic guitar is amazing. it's like witnessing something so personal that you shouldn't be watching. kristin has always said that she does not like discussing lyrics or even putting them in the album packaging because they get misrepresented and misinterpreted. but if you've ever had a hard time figuring out what the hell she was trying to say or what point she was trying to make - and who hasn't? - just watch her in action. emotions may not be readily apparent when trying to decipher the lyrics. but by letting go of the words and just listening to her presentation of the songs, everything becomes clear. though the set was wonderful in its own right, it would not prove to be the highlight of the day. at least it wasn't for me. luckily, there seems to be no end in sight for kristin's solo work, so this quick set was more like an appetizer for the real deal. "measure fortune, killing time" when the solo set was done, those lucky enough to snag tickets for the all day event were treated to a viewing of the lakuna films. lakuna is the instrumental project of muses' drummer david narcizo. these short films were created by david and were meant to provide a visual landscape for the songs from castle of crime, the first lakuna release. unfortunately, with the level of anticipation in the crowd, the films did not get the attention they deserved. as the day progressed and the evening-only ticket holders began to arrive, there was an indescribable feeling in the air: a bit of tension, a little anxiety, and an all around warm-fuzziness. for a couple of weeks prior to the gut pageant, billyo had taunted message board readers with the secret identity of a special guest opener. although there were many guesses, including frank black and the pixies reunion, no one seemed to really know. someone i had just met that day hinted that it was someone that has played on a muses record before. hmmm, bob mould? yep! this was clearly throwing muses night at the middle east, but mould put on an intense solo performance that commanded everyone's attention from the get-go. his driving guitar playing and impassioned vocals captured an otherwise preoccupied audience. "this is our house, roll out the red carpet" by the time the muses were ready to take the stage, the middle east was packed with fans from all over the world. realizing how lucky you were to be there, it was hard not to think about those that couldn't make it for one reason or another - including a couple (to whom kristin dedicated a song) who met in the muses' chatroom and chose this of all days to exchange wedding vows! when the muses started gathering on stage, the noise was deafening. finally, it was here. it was so surreal that it didn't seem possible until they actually began playing. the set went on a feverish pace, covering songs from throughout the band's catalogue, including songs that hadn't been played in years. the applause between songs was louder than the music itself. i managed to stake out a prime spot where i could see pretty much everything (a priority for short people like me!). one of the best things that i could see from this vantage point, besides the band, was the beaming smile on the face of billyo. i don't think it left him the entire night. he was so proud that the band was together again, and that he was able to put something like this together for the fans. he deserved to be proud. us "muse-heads" will never be able to thank him enough for making this happen. "this is heaven, and all my friends are there in heaven " despite not playing together in a few years, the band rarely missed a beat. it was as if they were in the middle of a world tour, right at the top of their game. most of what little media coverage given to this band is directed at kristin hersh, and rightly so. she writes amazing songs, she's an awesome guitar player, and her singing is truly moving. but to leave out the musicianship of david and bernard and what they bring to the music is like forgetting that santa had the reindeer helping him deliver presents. i wish i could have watched the show three different times, each time focusing in on someone else. at this point, they could have called it a night, because everyone in the club was in heaven. what an incredible night. what could they possibly do to top this? nothing really - unless a long lost family member surprises everyone and shows up after all! unless tanya donelly shows up to join in on all the fun! sure, there were rumors that this would happen, especially when she was spotted wandering about the club earlier that day. but seeing her and seeing her on stage are two different things. "there's magic here, and magic's weird" as a fan that has long regretted never seeing a muses show with tanya in the lineup, this was far and away the highlight of the day. joined by fred abong, the bands' "real ramona"-era bass player, tanya drifted on-stage half way through the set playing three songs, including the crowd singalong, "not too soon". she seemed almost embarrassed and overwhelmed at the crowds energetic reaction to her presence. nevertheless, it was her presence that seemed to finalized the formation of a billyo-style smile on every single face in the crowd. it was uncontrollable. special just doesn't cut it. no words seem to do the feeling at that moment justice. when tanya and fred rejoined the muses for the final song of the set, "two step", the unbelievable harmonies that ensued proved that, like the sun and the beach, krsitin's and tanya's voices were meant to go together. the chemistry on that stage was undeniable, and it reminded me how much i don't like change. "after all this is over, this is over after all" after the gut pageant, the message board was clogged for weeks with post after post from those that attended the show trying to express how magical it was, and how grateful we all were that this was done for us. strangely enough, there were also many posts describing some sort of post-gut pageant depression that people were experiencing. let's face it: most of us were on such a natural high, that when it was done, there was something missing. no more muses, no more tanya. music can do that to you. if an event like this could ever be pulled off again (and there are rumors of a west coast gut pageant), i wouldn't change a thing, other than bringing out leslie langston, the muses' original bass player. but there are things outside of the gut pageant and throwing music that i would gladly change, like the way that the music business is run. it's a crime that bands like this cannot exist, while record companies throw money at cookie-cutter bands that have nothing of substance to offer. but that's another article... "i wanna fight the clouds with your head on a stick" i realize that there is only so much that a musician can give to their fans, but kristin hersh and throwing muses don't seem to recognize that limit. i have never experienced anything like the gut pageant before, and i doubt i ever will again. for that, i cannot thank the folks at throwing music enough. and to think that earlier in the day billyo was thanking us for making something like this possible. no, billyo, thank you! "...if you don't
love throwing muses,
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